I Will Gladly Boast In My Weaknesses

She wasn’t born herself
she found herself
over a long
and treacherous road
and the more treacherous
the road became
the more of
herself
she found

-Atticus

 

Lately I have felt uninspired, inadequate, and just not enough. I’ve been digging through my thoughts trying to find something to write about. 

But I found nothing

Until now.

This week I faced some very real walls within myself. Have you ever felt this strange uneasiness within and you don’t know where it’s coming from? That’s how I’ve been feeling all week and it has led me to be unmotivated and lethargic in all areas of my life.

“You aren’t smart enough, you are too unfocused, you will never reach the standards you set for yourself”

Theses are the lies that have occupied my brain and today I am kicking them out and replacing it with the truth. I AM smart, I AM going to succeed, and I AM loved. I have to retrain my brain to sit in the good and not the hurt. 

When Paul wrote that he will boast more gladly in his weaknesses, he was coming from a place of humility and surrender. He is not boasting about himself, but in his sufferings. At this time, Paul had experienced prison, shipwrecks, and danger from rivers, bandits, Jews, Gentiles, and more. He had often gone without sleep, food, or water all for his mission to proclaim the name of Jesus Christ. (2 Corinthians 11:16-29)

If you looked up suffering in the dictionary, his name would be there. 

So, why gladly boast in my weaknesses?

Because that is where God can work. It is through our struggles that God builds our character and shows our true need for His presence in our life. He brings hope and peace when there is none.

“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” (Romans 5: 3-5)

If I had it all together with an insta-perfect life there would be no room for God to heal my heart. This relates to my friendships too. Deeper community and connection grow when I am honest about my feelings and struggles with my friends.

Last week I noticed that when I was being so hard on myself, not once did I open my Bible or set aside time for God. Only as I was driving home cry-singing to Lauren Diagle’s “Trust In You” that I opened my heart for God to pour in His truth. 

So friends, if you are in a time of feeling inadequate, you are not alone. I challenge you to go and set aside time to be with God. I want you to think to yourself one thing that you are struggling with right now and how you can overcome it little by little.

For me, it’s telling myself truths instead of lies and allowing God to use my weaknesses for His good. 

Petit à petit,

Lauren